Apart+from+the+Crowd+by+Ashlyn+P.


 * Apart from the Crowd**

When I was younger, I was diagnosed with A.D.H.D. (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). This meant that I was impatient, couldn’t control my impulse, had a hard time focusing, and was hyper all the time. I had people asking me every day when I was hyper, “Did you forget your medicine?” and I would not know how to reply. I felt like in class it wasn’t fair how I always got in trouble for talking or for outburst I couldn’t control when others were talking when they could control it and got away with it. I was annoyed by the smallest things. When someone said something that I didn’t want to hear I broke down. I always wanted things my way. I became bossy and mean with friends and people stopped wanting to be around me as much. I was impatient so whenever someone told me to wait I couldn’t. I couldn’t sit still or focus in class making it hard to learn and concentrate on what was being taught. I had trouble grasping the idea that I had to try harder to concentrate and behave normally than others. I had a disability, I had to accept that.  I learned to cope with it by taking a few seconds to think before I acted, to take a breath before breaking down. I had painful experiences growing up due to my A.D.H.D. with people making fun of it, with losing friends, with breaking down at night because I couldn’t control it when everything was falling apart and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t like taking medicine because it made me feel incapable of doing something on my own. I didn’t like asking for help because I didn’t want more people knowing or asking me about it.  If I could change how I reacted, I probably wouldn’t have changed anything. I learned to accept that I had a disability and that it wasn’t going to change but that I had to change. I had to work a little harder than everyone to do normal things. I knew that once I learned to accept that fact, it would make everything easier. I still never wanted to ask for help and I stopped taking pills over the summers and after 5th grade I stopped completely. I now don’t even think about it as much. I still have outbursts and get hyper and impatient but I learned to deal with it. Have fun with it. My friends don’t even talk about it that much. Some people still comment on it or make jokes, but I don’t mind it as much anymore.  Advice I would give to my peers about being different is that it’s ok. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person or that you don’t fit in. It means you have something others don’t. That you have just a little more to handle than everyone else. Throughout my lifetime I have changed significantly. It helps to let out your feelings in some way. Like keeping a diary or journal, or telling someone you trust, like a friend, sibling, or parent. Overall, I learned a lot and hope that everyone realizes that it’s ok to be alone sometimes. 

-Ashlyn P.