Epstein's+Standard+Set+of+Apologies

We students at the Epstein School, particularly in the middle school, tend to violate a number of school rules on a daily basis. Interviewing several 6th, 7th and 8th grade students helped me establish a set of standard apologies that students use after breaking the guidelines (found at the end of the article). If you are interested, keep reading for a truthful analysis of Epstein’s student transgressions. I first interviewed an alert 6th grade student. In response to the question “What is the most frequent broken rule at Epstein?”, Shlumiel answered keeping your shirt tucked in the whole day. He quoted, “I always notice teachers yelling at kids, threatening them with blue slips, because their shirts aren’t tucked in. Even though students apologize for not keeping their shirts tucked in, they usually un-tuck their shirts again right after the teacher passes by”. Evidently, students are careless when it comes to tucking their shirts in and although the majority of the students apologize, their apology is not genuine. After hearing the words of Shlumiel, I moved on to a dramatic seventh grader, Tali. She thought the most general transgression was arriving to school late. She mentioned, “Many students, especially middle schoolers, get to school late. News flash! Sometimes it is not our fault. Maybe someone our carpool driver goes a steady 20 mph on the highway, or we may just feel like sleeping in a little.” As I interviewed Tali, I began to realize that loads of students //do// come to school tardy, some for ridiculous reasons too. My next interview was with another 6th grader, Jasemine. It took her awhile to think of a rule that is frequently broken, but then she came up with a no-brainer, chewing gum during classes. She explained, “Kids try to hide their gum, but the teachers eventually detect their chewing. They can either discover the gum from the smell or the smacking. Either way, the kid’s busted. They gotta spit it out.” This rule is not violated as much as keeping your shirt tucked in or arriving to school on time, but it is broken fairly often, more than you readers would think. I thought it was time to interview an 8th grade student, so I proceeded with Ilana. Ilana immediately thought of a rule that was occasionally broken, people wearing sweat shirts that are not in dress code. She remarked, “Tons of people in my grade wear sweat shirts with words across the front or sweat shirts in the wrong color. The teachers don’t seem to notice most of the time, so we get away with it. We are the role models of the school and if other students look up to us then they will not stay in dress code.” After tuning in to Ilana’s point of view, I think her grade needs to make their apologies and take their responsibility to stay in dress code, so other children in the school won’t follow in their footsteps. The last person I interviewed was another 7th grader. Benjamin pointed out another common classroom violation, that of students talking while the teacher is speaking or explaining a lesson. He stated, “I know I talk a lot with my friends, but I can’t help it. We have things to catch up on with each other. Every time I turn around my teacher is standing there with a pink slip. I’m such a blabber mouth, but I’m not the only one.” Clearly, talking during class comes naturally to students, and sometimes it is difficult to restrain ourselves (I know from experience). Thanks to the help of Epstein’s middle school students, I was able to create a set of standard apologies based on their experiences and reasons. Number one, “I’m sorry for not tucking my shirt in”. Number two, “I’m sorry for arriving to school late”. Number three, “I’m sorry for chewing gum during class”. Number four, “I’m sorry for wearing the wrong type of sweat shirt”. And last but not least number five, “I’m sorry for talking during class”. If //you// follow the rules, then I guarantee these expressions of regret would be put to use much less often.